On Instagram, there is a well-known proverb that goes something like, “Trust issues are the result of lying issues.” That, we presume, serves as the framework for John’s connection with his father, Ben, in Rabbit Hole Season 1. John adored and maybe somewhat worshiped his father as a child. John was aware of his father’s paranoia even as a young child, though. It must have left a lasting impact on John’s young mind when he broke the phone because his wife had complained about a ticking noise coming from it, which Ben assumed came from some type of eavesdropping device. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to speculate that John’s paranoia in Rabbit Hole began with this. John gets into arguments with people when he leaves for boarding school because he imagines what they are thinking. This is the extent of Ben’s influence over John.
Ben’s suicide left John with many scars. He struggled for a long time to accept the death of his father. We don’t believe John’s mother was able to give the youngster the emotional support and supervision he need since she had started drinking frequently. When John attempts to blow up the safe lock during one of his more frantic outbursts, his mother sends him to boarding school rather than counseling. John struggles to blend in and his nervousness grows when he is in an unfamiliar setting. Fortunately, Miles Valence is the only person he can locate who possesses the tolerance and comprehension that John so urgently needs in life. He demonstrates why he is John’s compass because, in contrast to others, he doesn’t brush off John’s concerns regarding the safety of his father. Miles actually assisted him in figuring it out. John must have taken a moment to realize that he had been the safe’s password all along.
In the end, John and Miles used the knowledge they gained from the safe’s contents to start a joint career. They deal with manipulations and secrets as part of their job, and everything is going smoothly until one day Ben visits John’s residence. That upset John more than his earlier belief that his father had committed suicide ever had. It was a bit difficult for John to comprehend that his father had been alive for all these years but had never bothered to get in touch with him. The older John saw the necessity of his father’s conduct. He understood why his father had to make such dramatic decisions because he worked in the same industry as his father did. Despite the fact that it was obvious that Ben had not re-entered John’s life out of fatherly love but rather in exchange for his assistance in overthrowing Crowley, the kid trapped in John was unable to let go of the incident and continued to harbor animosity toward him.
Ben certainly apologized frequently, but we don’t believe he ever did so without providing an explanation. Yes, he did what had to be done, but that did not automatically make things right. Although we personally think that guilt is a pointless emotion, genuine regret for one’s deeds can heal a lot of scars. Ben and John both lacked that regret in our eyes. But they persisted in their collaboration for nearly ten years. However, the fact that John and Valence had to part ways did not help. Valence was most likely John’s lone buddy and the only person who could relate to his peculiarities, his paranoia, and his ingrained distrust of his father. As John explains to Hailey, when John began to think in circles about conspiracies in his head, only Valence understood how to snap him back to reality. John’s only connection to reality was Valence, thus learning of his passing shocked him. Not only had John lost his best buddy, but there had also been long-standing rumors that he was not who John had known him to be. Instead of being honest about what he had done in the Rabbit Hole, Ben had added fuel to those rumors.
John’s heart abruptly stopped when he learned that his dad’s actions had caused the deaths of everyone on his team—people he truly cared about. These were people he worked with and saw every day, like Valence, who he could joke around with and be candid with about how his brain functioned even if he might never have revealed anything personal. John cared for them, and he was unable to pardon Ben for what he had done. Whether Ben was genuinely to blame for their demise is up for debate. He had been following Kyle because of his overzealous watchfulness, and when he realized it, he killed John’s team to wipe up all traces of them. But in this market, can you really blame someone for exercising additional caution? Ben should have informed John about this, especially since he had begun discussing contacting them and including them in the continuing effort.
Ben might have been worried about what John would say if he told him the truth because their relationship was already tense. Ben, however, ruined any professional credibility he had in his son’s eyes by keeping this information a secret. When Ben apologized this time, he didn’t offer any justifications. He was truly sorry and offered a sincere apology, but it was already too late. John’s imagination had blocked out his regret and was conjuring up several scenarios in which he was the offender. We don’t think John had it in him to allow his father abuse his trust after taking it for granted for so long, even if he thought the events were an honest mistake. Ben and John were less father and son and more coworkers in the fabrication of lies, but their relationship in Rabbit Hole was not entirely business-related. We genuinely believe that they cared for one another, but as with most relationships, when trust and respect are absent, disaster is simply waiting to come.